Sherlock: Sink from hell
by Autumn Reid
Summary: After one hellish trip to IKEA Sherlock and John are trying to build a sink. This should be good. Rated M for language. I don't own Sherlock or IKEA or anything.


Rating: M (for language)

Pairing: John Watson/ Sherlock Holmes

**Sink from Hell**

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"Mother Mary in a hot air balloon!" Sherlock swore colorfully. John sighed looking over to the man across from him. They sat together on the white tiled floor of their bathroom, Sherlock laying underneath the sink wrench in hand and drain pipe piece in the other. John looked down at the pages of instruction manual and random bits and bobs of screws and the like as he attempted (and failed) to connect Pipe F to Pipe E.

"Sherlock you should calm down a bit." He set them aside as Sherlock swore again.

"Damn Ikea to hell! I can't do this anymore!" He tossed down the piece, it cracked and he screamed out again.

"Sherlock, these piece don't fit." John said putting down pipe E and Sherlock glared at him form under the sink.

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" John sighed. Sherlock had gotten a lot cheekier since he stared watching day time television. John only had himself to blame though.

"Did you put together the pipe?" Sherlock fought to pull out a piece he had "expertly" rammed into the sink.

"Yes, but I have a screw left over." Sherlock reach around the floor looking for the instructions. He stared at the papers for several seconds "WHERE THE HELL DOES THIS SCREW GO?!" he said and John took the manual next to him.

"What's the screw number?"

"C2-4." John flipped to the table of context looking for the right page and began to read.

"Drill screw C2-4 into pipe line D and E as shown in figure B."

"I don't have a pipe line D? What does the other page say?" John flipped the page.

"I can't read German, Sherlock." Sherlock struggled to drill another screw in chipping the sink stone.

"The screw is too small for the fucking hole!" He reached up snatching the directions from John. "If Tim Allen can do this shit so can I." He mumbled resting on his back as John waited. "WHAT THE HELL DO THESE PICTURES MEAN?!"

"You should have let me ask the woman there to help us."

"She spoke German John. German! The only language I'm not fluent in." A click of heels rapped against the floorboards outside and Mrs. Hudson knocked on the door looking in.

"Yoo hoo." She looked over the scene. "I can hear you two from the shop downstairs."

Sherlock pulled the wrench from his mouth beginning to twist in another screw that refuse to go in. "We're in the middle of something, Mrs. Hudson."

Mrs. Hudson waved him off. "No need to be rude dearie. How 'bout a nice cuppa? Perhaps that should calm you down." She walked off returning a few minutes later the kettle set to boil in the background.

"We could have gotten someone else to help us." John mumbled picking up another disfigured looking piece.

"It was a matter of principle John" Sherlock stated tossing the rebellious screw across the room. "She looked at me like I was an idiot."

John eyed him from behind the papers standing to get the screw Sherlock had abusive tossed. "That game of charades you played didn't help your case."

"She understood, didn't she?" Sherlock snapped.

"We were there seven hours!" John snapped back. "Even I didn't understand what the hell you were saying!"

"Didn't you boys go for a table?"

"MISS HUDSON! DON'T YOU HAVE TEA TO MAKE?!" Sherlock bellowed whacking the sink pipe and water erupted out drowning him as he panicked underneath it. John laughed hysterically trying to keep his balance before slipping in the water and landing in the large cardboard box the sink had come in effectively smashing his head on the floor tile below in the process.

Mrs. Hudson looked at them from the frantic Sherlock savagely beating a sink pipe spraying water in his face to a now comatose John lying out in the broken IKEA box soaked in water. She sighed turning out the door.

"You should have just gone to Home Depot!" She called picking up the phone to call their plumber. This was definitely going on their rent.

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don't know where the idea came from but here it is. Hope you enjoyed. Please review it makes me happy :)


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